It was SO FUN. Can you imagine?
"So you used to suffer bullying when you were a teen. Big deal. Everybody did. I mean, I used to be fat, and people made fun of me. Get over yoursef"
Oh, right. I forgot how every bullying experience are exactly the same, specially between men and women, huh?
The thing is, when I was a child, I lost my brother..
"Oh, no. The brother story again? It's been so long. Get over it already"
Shut up, idiot. Let me finish, for once!
When I lost him, I promised I would learn how to defend myself, cause I didn't have him anymore to do so. And I was so angry, in pain, feeling his loss, and trying to move on with my life. But that brought me a few problemas, because I got censored all the time for acting "like a boy". Gettting into fights. But they were never for free. I was bullied for a lot of reasons and I would punch or kick back to defend my "honor". Cause, you see, it wasn't just names. Most of them were harassment, a few sexual, but I didn't get that part until I was much older.
"Hug her, touch her, she doesn't like it. What if I kiss you? Hey, hey sexy"
And that's why, you fucking asshole, I can't get over it! Because it is a constantly refreshing trauma! The difference is, I can't go out on the street sucker punching every idiot that catcalls me. Under the roof of my school, I knew every name, every joke, every parent and I knew that guys had boundaries imposed by the school board. Down the street, I can't defend my honor, without taking the risk of being killed. I can't feel safe. I can't fight back. And that is suffocating. And it makes me angry all the time because I still feel like that teenager, screaming for help inside my head.
So, everytime I go outside and I do not feel safe, it is like the bullying had followed me through my entire life. It did, and just because I'm a woman.
Before you go out there, diminishing other's suffering, you bastard, remember: you never had to walk a mile on my shoes, and be thankful for that.
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Keep your mouth shut, before teenage me shuts it for you.
